Run

Can I just run?


Explaining is so difficult. There are people who can talk exactly as it is, and there people like me — who talk everything else before getting to a point.


Is it wrong of being so?


I am tired.
And I want to run.

Because, You are You

And I am me.

Funny how things have changed.
It is even funnier when the person you hate the most, now, becoming otherwise.

You are literally addicted to them.
I am literally addicted to him, to you.

The hesitation. The thinking. The sudden stop before asnwering. The trying-not-to-smile. The concentration. The hypercritical. The objective. The resistant. The talk. The smart.

The you.

Only if saying I am falling for you is easy.
And only if you have the same feeling.
And only if this is possible.

Because, I am almost certain it is not, you are not.

I don't know which is weirder.

Me, fall for you.
Or you, can't feel me already fall for you.

Yeah, I like you.
I just pretend I don't.

The Heart Is Saying But The Mouth Shut Still!

It is hard, isn't it?

Alone and Lonely

I'm not sharing and I choose to keep silent because it hurts me. You didn't notice that because I'm harsh. It is easy to put the blames on me and it easy for me too; to blame anything anyone anywhere.

I can't differentiate now which one is honesty and which one is punishment. 

Just leave me alone. I am fragile now and when I'm fragile, I have a huge tendency to hurt.

...

Can I count my tears as a shining star, too?

Agony

I want to change, so I always remember the advices pretty well. I keep it very sensitive especially the bad one. Now, every step I'm making, I've been haunted with all the past hurting comments which few of them clearly nonsense.

The smile shouldn't be there.

Do not giggles.

Don't show off your happiness here and now.

You look terrible.

You'll never change.

Your attitude is permanent.

Nobody can remove the scars that bleeding again now. Nobody, can undo it. Silently I cry. Despite all the complimentary comments I received from all the people I've met along the way, I still crying inside. No matter what I do, the past keep on laughing at me. You did the worst, and you'll never be better in the future.

I keep on asking on how words form the superior could change my life drastically. But, I persuade my heart that life will getting better because I am a lot stronger from now on. It is soothing a bit.

You hurt me, I won't take revenge. Hurting isn't easier, but once you do it, it will never be difficult in the future. I'll try not to hurt people, I won't let it to repeat itself on me either.

Ergh!

Damn it!

It is not what you think.

It is never what you think!

I'm not narrow minded neither do I resist to a new change. It is just misunderstanding and you have misunderstood me a lot, now.

Please...

I believe it will happen sooner.

It just the matter of time.

Please....

Don't

I don't talk about work at home. I don't talk about home at work.

So don't ask.

Regret!

Don't ask what am I doing. I hate answering question. I hate being interrupted. I hate the curiosity about the flow. I hate every single concern you give. At least for now.

The biggest hatred is because...

I hate to answer question while I'm concentrating and who doesn't?