The Heart Is Saying But The Mouth Shut Still!

It is hard, isn't it?

Alone and Lonely

I'm not sharing and I choose to keep silent because it hurts me. You didn't notice that because I'm harsh. It is easy to put the blames on me and it easy for me too; to blame anything anyone anywhere.

I can't differentiate now which one is honesty and which one is punishment. 

Just leave me alone. I am fragile now and when I'm fragile, I have a huge tendency to hurt.

...

Can I count my tears as a shining star, too?

Agony

I want to change, so I always remember the advices pretty well. I keep it very sensitive especially the bad one. Now, every step I'm making, I've been haunted with all the past hurting comments which few of them clearly nonsense.

The smile shouldn't be there.

Do not giggles.

Don't show off your happiness here and now.

You look terrible.

You'll never change.

Your attitude is permanent.

Nobody can remove the scars that bleeding again now. Nobody, can undo it. Silently I cry. Despite all the complimentary comments I received from all the people I've met along the way, I still crying inside. No matter what I do, the past keep on laughing at me. You did the worst, and you'll never be better in the future.

I keep on asking on how words form the superior could change my life drastically. But, I persuade my heart that life will getting better because I am a lot stronger from now on. It is soothing a bit.

You hurt me, I won't take revenge. Hurting isn't easier, but once you do it, it will never be difficult in the future. I'll try not to hurt people, I won't let it to repeat itself on me either.

Ergh!

Damn it!

It is not what you think.

It is never what you think!

I'm not narrow minded neither do I resist to a new change. It is just misunderstanding and you have misunderstood me a lot, now.

Please...

I believe it will happen sooner.

It just the matter of time.

Please....

Don't

I don't talk about work at home. I don't talk about home at work.

So don't ask.

Regret!

Don't ask what am I doing. I hate answering question. I hate being interrupted. I hate the curiosity about the flow. I hate every single concern you give. At least for now.

The biggest hatred is because...

I hate to answer question while I'm concentrating and who doesn't?

Get Out!

Blog.

Facebook.

Especially blog.

Especially Facebook.

80 percent from blog and 60 percent from Facebook is the part of daily life activities or thought or babbling or for fun, but secretly shared at virtual world. It is a two different world, share the same thing but never CONNECTED. 

So, shut up your mouth from taking it seriously and mentioning or assuming how bad the person are. Especially me.

You judge badly!

I hate you for influencing everything! 

You never know. You never know. You never know. 

Never

Never satisfied.
Never satisfied.
Never satisfied.

Angry over nothing.
Angry over everything!

Stop!

Only if you can see the fire is burning through my hair slowly coming inside to my body, and silently stab my heart which is full of gas. You know, the fire (even the heat) will never be best friend with the gas; the petrol?

The fire is harm on its own.

The petrol is not. 

But when you mix these both, whamppp!

So, stop!

Stop telling me what to do. Stop directing  my life. Stop complaining every single thing about me because now you are the fire. And I, I am the petrol. We will never be bestfriend. You are harmful even when you're alone. Don't drag me in. Don't even come closer to me. The heat of yours can trigger another full blast of fire, which clearly cause more damage.

I'm damaged already.

So, stop!

Just stop!

Rolling Roll Rolling Roll

You know I like you and I show it off but please I like you because I just like it. When you chose to hate me, then do it. I just like you. No price. No no. My attention is priceless, you're lucky to get it and now you don't coz you hate me and well, who cares?

I just like like like like. Like rolling eyes! You can't roll it for too long. It will exhausted and can cause you to blind.

Blind to see love. Gotcha!